Conflict Managed
2019 Comm Grad Makayla Boscia Jumped from an SOU Course to a Dream Job in Mediation with a Single Bound
Few college graduates can say that they got a dream job immediately after throwing their graduation caps in the air. But Makayla Boscia is proud to say that she navigated from an undergraduate class to an internship to a permanent position, landing her at Resolve, Medford’s center for community conflict resolution. Makayla took the time to sit down with us and dive into how she became involved with Resolve and what mediation means to her.
Tell us about your career journey after graduating from SOU
I took Erica Knott’s mediation course at SOU, and through that she connected me to Resolve, a community conflict resolution center. There are a handful in Oregon, but the largest one in our region is Resolve, and they handle most of Southern Oregon.
I was able to do an internship with Resolve, which led to them hiring me. It was a seamless path from that mediation course to my career in mediation.
Why mediation?
I did my associates degrees in communication and in psychology. When I transferred from the Bay Area to SOU in 2017, I was actually closer to a degree in psychology than communication. Communication attracted me because it’s a really broad degree. You can do a whole lot with it, but what has always been personally frustrating to me is having things in my head and not being able to get my ideas into someone else’s head. I saw communication and being skillful with communication as a way to manage that anxiety that people weren’t understanding me.
When I started taking courses in communication, I developed a passion for all of the things that we, as a society, would be able to do so much better if everyone was just a little bit better at handling their conflicts, and especially their communication.
I think at the end of the day, I like conflict. It’s something that I’m comfortable in, and I think I like it so much because I see the opportunities that conflict can bring when it’s handled well.
What does well-done conflict look like?
It entails really honing in on active listening skills. It’s really being able to have the level of self awareness to where you are able to manage your own reactions and get out of that reactionary lens and really be present. It’s the ability to sit there while [the situation is] uncomfortable and accept that it’s uncomfortable and [use] your left brain to think about what the possibilities are going forward. I think it’s really that level of self-awareness that really plays into how we’re able to manage conflict.
If your personal response to a conflict or to someone bringing a complaint to you is to be very reactionary and emotional right off the bat, and [you don’t take] the second to try and understand what they’re saying, it is not going to go well.
Tell us more about your role at Resolve
Resolve is a very small nonprofit that does a shocking amount of work. Our mediation department is really me and one other person, and we both pride ourselves on being very well-rounded in terms of the different cases we receive.
Most of the work I do is in courts and around housing. That’s mostly because those are the biggest amount of referrals we get, but I’ve also done things with different organizations and with families. Most of my job right now is coordinating our small claims process. For example, if you were to get sued for whatever reason and go to small claims court, you would go through mediation first.
My role is to go in and figure out what we can do to try to move past some of those sticky emotional parts that are getting in the way of brainstorming solutions. I see [my role] as bringing a future focus to some of those conflicts. So, trying to help people move past what has happened and move towards what needs to happen.
What have you gained from working with Resolve?
I’ve certainly learned a lot of skills, but what has stuck with me most is the advice that a lot of our mediators have given to me. Most community dispute resolution centers have a pretty large volunteer base, and that’s the same with Resolve. It’s a lot of people that have retired, and they’ve had really long, successful careers in their respective fields. They are just a goldmine of advice and wisdom.
One of the best pieces of advice that the mediators have given me is, when someone says something more than one time, it’s because they don’t think that you’ve heard them. That one piece of advice has helped me so much professionally, but also personally.
One of the stories in Resolve’s annual report was of a man who was cleaning his gun and it went off and the bullet went through the wall of his apartment and hit his neighbor in the leg. The two of them went to Resolve and are now good friends. Is this a special occurrence or a normal day for Resolve?
I frequently say that there really is no substitute for real life. Some of the stuff you can’t make up, and stories like that are really touching and impactful. My experience has been that they’re not uncommon.
Certainly a bullet going through a wall and hitting someone is not an everyday occurrence in our area, but stories where you bring people into mediation and you think that there is no way in hell they’ll come to any kind of agreement. Then at the end they’re crying because they’re so touched by each other’s stories.
How do you deal with scenarios that don’t turn out that well?
[An important] part of mediation is that it is voluntary. The goal of it is really to empower each party to make their own decisions and to make their own way forward. The mediator isn’t there to impose any of their [own] beliefs, opinions, or advice. The explicit definition of a mediator [is] to be neutral and impartial. Sometimes it is really difficult when a mediator sees a solution, but it would be unethical to put that solution in front of [the parties involved].
It’s important to understand your role, and be able to stay within that role, because there are a lot of boundaries with mediation ethically and legally.
However, if I’m in the middle of mediation and all of a sudden they start screaming at each other, that’s a different story. That’s when it’s important for me to maintain the neutrality of that space and to maintain the integrity of that space. I think, more than anything, it’s being able to be calm and composed and to have a real understanding of what the situation is and what you can and can’t do.
How can students become involved in Resolve?
We’re looking for more volunteers and interns to be court mediators. You do need some training to do it. Resolve offers a course the Fundamentals of Mediation Training, which we are putting on in mid-April through the end of May.
Check out Resolve’s website for more information!
Interview by Autumn Micketti (@mountainmusicwoman), Community Manager for the Communication Program at Southern Oregon University.
